LXXXI

Its pouring rain and has been so unpredictably all week.

Unpredictable would be a good word to describe this week and it all started with a lemonade and a very small, brown glass bottle. However before I even begin going into details, I am going to start by updating you all on the crochet front; the beginnings of my 'Flowers In The Snow' throw. I have just begun joining my circular discs using a neutral base 'Moonflower.' This is an organic DK yarn by Amy Butlers Belle collection and although I have not got very far yet, Im quite pleased with how well balanced the colours appear. Just for those wanting to see the full effect behind this project, along with the pattern, it can be found right here!

 Sometimes I feel the non-knit/crochet community forget the labour behind such projects, with half the time spent darning in odd ends, ironing work and even recrocheting pieces, so I tend to be far more enthused with my own progress than what people may consider to be normal!

Then again, what is normal?

And so I like to sit by this very window, overlooking the garden to which I understand was the pride and joy of a woman that once lived here. Its just beautiful on a clear blue day, spending my afternoons sitting upon the concrete steps, feeding the yarn through my fingers, usually until the begin to numb.
 I envisage this generous covering of merino to big enough for two, purposely designed for warm cuddles, cheeky kisses with a someone special, if ever I come across that right person. Single is fun, but it misses a richer and far deeper interconnectivity.

I miss the closeness, holding each others face and its so stupid too! Im never usually hasty to really 'feel', but it felt so natural, instantaneous and effortless to feel a reciprocal warmth like that, and I find that so difficult just to let it go - Just like that. Its like allowing the string of a kite reel to run straight through your hands as it floats upwards and away. I know now if nothing comes of it, as much as its an unsettling harsh reality (one of which I may decide to challenge) I have the etchings of him curled up beside me asleep, wrapped up as though i was his and had been. There was something so much more to it, why are men so willing to let it go. I just dont understand it, it feels inhuman. Really it does.

However, for the sake of my sanity, a large glass of sloe wine, along with late night sessions at the swimming pool and an indepth girly chat does wonders! I like to keep myself busy therefore with it being a Monday, I have a set of objectives I wish to achieve for the week:

• Drink at least 2 litres of water a day
• To drink no more than three cups of tea a day - I feel my teeth are becoming fairly susceptible to discolouration!
• To be confident with my decision making
• To book a hair cut / possibly a colour too!
• To make at least one persons day this week - could you be lucky!?

I shall report back with my successes!?

For now, I am about to enjoy a very large glass of sloe wine, mmm my favourite!

Take care everyone and have a productive week!

22.06.11